11 Games to tell Cupid to take a Hike

Let’s face it, this time of the year we see so many lists of great two-player couples games. Love is in the air and all that jazz. But hey! Not everyone is all fired up for a visit from Cupid! There are plenty of single people out there who would just assume forget Valentines Day exists. There are plenty of couples out there who could care less about St. Valentine’s special day as well. Who needs to spend their entire paycheck on roses that will die in a few days or a box of chocolate that will be marked 50% off if you wait until Feb. 15 to buy it??!!!

We, here at Eat Chit & Dice, decided to make our own Valentines Day board game list, only ours is more of a “Anti-Valentines Day” list. Here is a list of ten games to play that pretty much are the opposite of celebrating love and relationships…they are a fun way to tell Cupid to take a long walk off a short pier!!

Bring Out Yer Dead

Bring Out Yer Dead

DesignerArron Watts
PublisherGinger Ale Games, Upper Deck Entertainment
Year Published2015
# of Players2-5
Playing Time45 minutes

Nothing says “I don’t care” like burying your dead family members…that you may, or may not, be responsible for killing. Toss in some grave robbing and grave swapping and you’ve got the perfect recipe for an Anti-Valentines Day game that can be fun for you and all of your surly grumpy single friends!

 

Gloom

Gloom

DesignerKeith Baker
PublisherAtlas Games, Edge Entertainment, uplay.it edizioni
Year Published2005
# of Players2-5
Playing Time60 minutes

Cupid would wish you nothing but happy endings…but don’t look for happy endings in this gloomy game! In fact, you can’t win at this game unless you go for the worst endings possible! What better way is there to celebrate the opposite of Valentines Day than to try to kill the characters in the worst, highest scoring, way possible???

 

Lap Dance

Lap Dance

DesignerAnastasios Grigoriadis, Panagiotis Tsirogiannis
PublisherArtipia Games
Year Published2014
# of Players2-4
Playing Time45 minutes

Last time we checked, the strip club is the last place you might want to find yourself on Valentine’s Day…or at least the last place your significant other might want you to be…unless you go together, but that’s none of our business! In Lap Dance, players are trying to become the new manager of the strip club by seeing to the needs of all the customers to generate the most money. So don’t spend your Valentine’s Day being a gloomy gus, become the manager of a Strip Club instead!

(DISCLAIMER: Because of adult themes, this game may not be appropriate for players under the age of 18.)

 

Secret Hitler

Secret Hitler

DesignerMike Boxleiter, Tommy Maranges, Max Temkin
PublisherGoat Wolf & Cabbage
Year Published2016
# of Players5-10
Playing Time45 minutes

What says the opposite of love like betraying everyone to bring in a fascist regime? Instead of spending Valentine’s Day alone, gather up all your Anti-Valentine’s Day friends and spend the evening playing this fun party game. Will Hitler and the fascists kill off players and win the game…or will the liberals rise above and save the day? 

  

Eaten by Zombies!

Eaten by Zombies!

DesignerMax Holliday
PublisherMayday Games
Year Published2011
# of Players2-4
Playing Time30 minutes

Eaten by Zombies takes place during the zombie apocalypse. It is a deck-building game that CAN be won cooperatively OR become an every man for himself kind of thing. Nothing says Anti-Valentines Day quite like letting everyone else become zombie food so you can live another day! If you were alone before the zombies came…then why would you help anyone after they came?

 

Tentacle Bento

Tentacle Bento

DesignerChris Birkenhagen, John Cadice, Deke Stella
PublisherNinja Division, Soda Pop Miniatures
Year Published2012
# of Players2-6
Playing Time60 minutes

In Tentacle Bento, you are an evil alien tentacle monster cleverly disguised as an adorable student at Takoashi University (an all girls school)…maybe you can see where this is going, right? Your job is to capture the school girls! Nothing says “Up Yours Cupid” quite like Japanese Tentacle Monsters capturing unsuspecting school girls, right?

(DISCLAIMER: Because of adult themes, this game may not be appropriate for players under the age of 18.)

 

End of the Line

End of the Line

DesignerSeppy Yoon
PublisherFight in a Box
Year Published2016
# of Players3-5
Playing Time80 minutes

End of the Line is another post-apocalyptic game. It is all about standing in government ration lines! This game has it all for Anti-Valentines Day…lots of back-stabbing fun. You might even have to take out the other family’s dog! How awful is that? 

 

Nothing Personal

Nothing Personal

DesignerStephen Avery, Tom Vasel
PublisherDice Tower Games, Game Salute
Year Published2013
# of Players3-5
Playing Time120 minutes

 You may feel like the world is against you on Valentines Day…but really, it’s Nothing Personal! Ha! 

So, Nothing Personal is a mafia game where you are trying to rise up in the ranks of the mob through influence, bribery, blackmail and negotiations. Muscle out the other mobsters you you can become the boss of bosses! It doesn’t get much more anti-Valentine’s Day than the mob.

 

Sheriff of Nottingham

Sheriff of Nottingham

DesignerSérgio Halaban, André Zatz
PublisherArcane Wonders, Asmodee, Asterion Press, Broadway Toys LTD, Edge Entertainment, etc.
Year Published2014
# of Players3-5
Playing Time60 minutes

Love and relationships are built on a foundation of trust…BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. Sheriff of Nottingham is a game of deception, so it definitely isn’t an example of how to win at the game of love! 

 

Love Letter

Love Letter

DesignerSeiji Kanai
PublisherAlderac Entertainment Group (AEG), 963.com, 999 Games, Arclight, Bard Centrum Gier, etc.
Year Published2012
# of Players2-4
Playing Time20 minutes

Okay, so Love Letter shows up on a lot of those “great games to play on Valentine’s Day” lists. Heck, there’s even a wedding version of the game. But, if you really think about the game, itself, it isn’t really the BEST WAY to celebrate all things Cupid. In Love Letter, you are trying to get your love letter to the hands of your lady love. You are competing with her other suitors. Aww, so sweet…you are trying to win your lady love. OR you can look at it like this: Bide your time as you search for your lady love by trying to figure out who she is “hiding under.” You take that how you want. 

 

Loopin' Louie

Loopin’ Louie

DesignerMasaru Aoki, Carol Wiseley
PublisherBroadway Toys LTD, The Canadian Group, Crown Products, Editrice Giochi, Goliath B.V., etc.
Year Published1992
# of Players2-4
Playing Time10 minutes

 Last, but not least, is Looping Louie. This game has no significant meaning for, or against, Valentines Day. But JaredK thinks it is incredibly fun and why not play a silly, fun game when you are trying to forget that Cupid is calling everyone in the world but you? If you can’t find a copy of Looping Louie, that’s OK…head to Toys R Us and you can probably find a copy of Loopin’ Chewie (the more recent Star Wars version of Looping Louie) on clearance.

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